In our current dating climate, digital rules. And as queer people, we know the easiest place to find people like us is online. We’ve existed here for years, and we are even trying to push to new heights of inclusivity. But it’s not all swiping, tailoring the perfect bio and working up the courage to slide into the DMs of that pretty girl on instagram. While I personally find dating the closest thing to Hell, queer white women like to make the slope a little more slippery. But i’ll admit, it’s not completely your fault and I understand you are well meaning people.
Recently, I was enjoying a pretty light conversation on tinder and it turned to talking about L Word characters (typical).
Please don’t tell me ‘good vibes only’ or cry, because I am pretty tired of the tears, and all it makes me think is how you are driving the perpetual infantilising of white women and their ‘helpless’ nature. We get that it’s internalised misogyny and racism created by colonialism and patriarchy that has seeped into your subconscious, further supported by the media. And now it’s weaponised to make POC feel a little less than because we’ve lacked representation for a very long time.
It’s 2019, educate yourself. We aren’t here as a resource for you or for your tokenizing pleasure. Even when I match with a beautiful POC, I can’t help but check my intentions and regularly self analyse. Am I exoticising this person? Am I only matching them because I am trying to prove something to myself? Let’s not forget the element of privilege talking here, those under represented in our own rainbow community have it way tougher than myself.
Maybe this is less about society popularizing a certain type of women between 1993 and now (plus years before, historically) and more about my bitterness of never being able to commit or be committed to. But if I can say anything that will stick, please stop using snapchat filters in your pictures, god they’re awful.